When you fall in love, you often believe that the relationship will last forever. But, when your relationship goes into a worst phase, breakup happens. When a relationship ends, healing takes time. Dealing with a breakup is very tough. A breakup carries you into uncultivated terrain. A breakup can be one of the most traumatic experiences in life. Whatever the reason for a Breakup, one thing is very sure that the breakup of a relationship can turn your life into an uneasy condition and also trigger all sorts of hurting and disturbing emotions. A breakup can be exceptionally aching because it represents the loss of your partner, your dreams and commitments you shared. Relationships embark on a high note of exhilaration and hopes and when it fails, we experience deep disappointment, stress, and pain.

Usually the term “Breakup” is defined as “End of a dedicated romantic relationship between dating partners”. Though divorce is also a type of breakup, but breakup is most often used to refer to the end of a relationship between unmarried people. Breakup is a termination of intimate relation by any means other than death of the partner. There are bags full of phases of relationship that culminates into a breakup.

Reasons of breakups:

To be happy, comfortable, and growing in a relationship, both the partners need to be on the same page. Both of them need to feel understood, accepted, and heard. When there are differing views, this becomes almost impossible and can be difficult to resolve. Now, I want to tell you about the reasons of breakup in a relationship. There are a lot of reasons which are responsible for break ups. When problems appear in the couple from either side it infuse to both of them, leads to dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Here are few factors which are liable for break ups: -

  • Difference of opinion
  • Mistrust
  • Age gap
  • Difference of intelligence
  • Insecurity
  • Involvement in bad Company
  • Non-commitment
  • Unequal involvement in the relationship
  • Physical attractiveness
  • Over passiveness
  • Lack of personal space & many more.

Phases of breakups:

 When we talk about the phases in a breakup, we find there are lots of conflicts, problems surface in between the two partners. In a relationship, on many occasions these things happen and the two partners try to solve it; they negotiate their disciplines, make changes in their habit, try to mitigate the conflicts, discuss with each other about the problems to save their relationship. But, sometimes due to personality/behavior/nature of partner or severity of problems, the proposed resolution fails to rectify issues relationship viability becomes on risk.

Here are few phases: - 

  • Anger & Shock
  • Pain & guilt
  • Grieving & Depression
  • Confusion
  • Denial
  • Reflection
  • Madness
  • Acceptance & hope
  • Recognition
  • Taking responsibility
  • Letting go

When do you start thinking that it’s a time to do break up?

Each relationship has its core values, Attachment among partners, adjustment, and history of each of the partner are few important things that should be taken care of in a relationship. So, we can say that, reasons for breakups always depend on personality of each of the partner involved. There are some indicators when you start thinking that it is a time to go ahead with break up.

Here are few indications: - 

  • Abuse of any kind (Physically or Mentally)
  • Mistrust & Cheat
  • Zero communication
  • Unhappiness & Depression
  • Not meeting needs
  • Limited intimacy
  • Loss of values
  • Unwilling to work
  • Unbridgeable space
  • Constant relationship anxiety
  • Family don’t like your partner

What people feel post their breakups? -

There are countless questions coming in mind when you go through a break up. The loss of the most significant person in your life forces you to experience distress, anxiety, nervous, worried and even take you to Depression. In the early stage of a relationship loss, this distress compounds. This is just because, when your partner isn't physically or psychologically present with you to meet your needs, you feel yourself in misery.

Emotions you will feel after breakups: - 

  • What's wrong with me?
  • Why didn't he/she want to try to make it work?
  • How could I have fixed things?
  • Can I get back to normal after break up?
  • What will be the relationship with mutual friends after breakup?
  • Don’t know why I was continuing this relationship?
  • Was it the right time to do breakup?

Psychological and emotional changes after breakups:

Breakups are never simple. The end of a relationship can spin your world overturned and generate a range of feelings & emotions. Grief reactions, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, insomnia, drop off in work or study, substance abuse, increased alcohol use, weight loss or gain, worsening physical health, negative emotions and feelings (such as guilt, anger, or rejection), increased risk of suicide are few major negative changes expected post breakup. Few people also try to take revenge and go for stalking and criminal behaviors.

Apart from the pain and negative changes, few positive changes are also expected after breakup. There is a chance to develop positive emotions and growth in a person. Sometimes, breakup gives a victim an opportunity for stress-related growth, improving his/her performance in future relationships, and get feelings of relief and freedom.

To overcome from an ugly relationship is a natural rule; invest your time to do good things and don’t waste your time to only think about the evils & consequences.

Benefits of treatment:

 Breaking up with someone can feel like mental pain. After breaking up, almost 30-40% people start sensing psychological changes. A help from psychologist will reduce your suffering from pain. A psychologist will help you to reduce your anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, negative emotions, suicidal thoughts and depressive symptoms, if any.

How UDGAM will help in treatment? 

People always try their best to keep their relationship healthy & happy. We at UDGAM, the clinical psychologist expert in relationship counseling, believe in a blissful relationship and put our all efforts to keep a relation hale and hearty. Team UDAGM, the clinical psychologist expert in relationship counseling, will be your real friend and help you to manage your relationship gracefully. We do believe that, a relationship is a purely personal thing. When, a breakup happens between the two partners, any of the partners must not feel hesitation to continue friendship/relations with their mutual friends. Partners should abstain themselves from making any dirty story against each other or common friends.

We are giving you some tips to overcome from a breakup:

  • After a breakup, respectfully cut all contacts for a short period of time.
  • Keep distance with unwanted contacts
  • Let your feelings & emotions Out
  • Accept the fact that it’s over, at least for now
  • Spend quality time with your friends and family
  • Pay attention to your thoughts
  • Understand the beauty of being single and don’t rush into another relationship.
  • Develop a peaceful life.
  • Always talk to a person who understands you.
  • Keep remain unbiased and non judgmental about your decisions.
  • Focus on yourself, give time and realize the every situation that happened. 

Here, at UDAGM, the clinical psychologist expert in relationship counseling, during therapy, a person can discuss any emotions or difficulties experienced and explore ways to cope with unwanted feelings. Our therapists will help you address any guilt that may be experienced with the end of the relationship.